I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
