"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
