i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
