We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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