Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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