people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
