last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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