how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
