saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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