i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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