Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
