He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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