sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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