I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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