You smell like stripper and shame
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
