i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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