my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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