Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
