My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Are we still banned from the library?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
