we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
