big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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