He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
