just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
