so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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