forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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