why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
