you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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