life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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