I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
