Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
