thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
