thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
