I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
