the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
