somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
