A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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