would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
