Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize