So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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