I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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