I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize