The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
