so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
