yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
