He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I still have a little drunk in my system
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
