When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
