Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
