Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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