One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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