no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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