who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Say something about gay babies.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
