Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
home. puking in laundry basket.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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