I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
