no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I didn't shave. On purpose
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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