Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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