For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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