oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
