after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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